Instead of letting it rip I tried to stuff it down. I felt scared to feel so much rage in myself.
Scared at what I might do. Scared of not being able to control it. I didn’t like that side of myself.
I went to a spiritual advisor and thought I would hear things about letting my anger go and trying to work things out.
To my surprise I heard the words, “Anger can be a good thing. It can give you the will to act to get out of a bad situation. If a plane is going down, you don’t have to stay on it!”
A man can make you angry for many different reasons – he doesn’t give you what you want, he treats you badly, he’s clueless and doesn’t act the way you had hoped.
Whatever the reason, you shouldn’t be afraid of the anger that surfaces.
Trying to stuff your anger down will only make you numb or even worse, depressed.
You’ll wind up losing touch with the way you feel, and the anger will fester inside of you and show up in unhealthy ways.
You might even start putting up with a man’s bad behavior because you’ve stifled the anger that signals you when something is wrong.
Allow the anger to come up. Feel it. Embrace it. It’s another part of you. A strong, powerful part.
Don’t judge yourself about it. A feeling isn’t right or wrong. It just is.
I want you to love every part of yourself.
The key is not to use your anger to attack and blame your man.
He’ll get defensive and attack back. You’ll push him away.
You need to learn to express yourself in way that he’ll be receptive to hearing.
If you want to say, “Why do you always make fun of my family?!? You’re so mean and nasty.” Try saying, “I feel really angry when I hear bad things about my family. No matter what anyone else thinks, I love them.”
Try to get at the bottom of why you’re angry and express that instead. If you want to say, “You’re such a selfish jerk! You’re always late!!” Try saying, “I’ve been sitting here for 30 minutes and I feel embarrassed and frustrated. What can we do?”
This way, it is not about him, it’s about your state of being. You don’t put him on the defensive.
If you’re in a dating relationship that makes you feel unwanted and horrible, use your anger to motivate yourself to get out.
If you want to know more about how expressing your anger in a way he’ll hear, then contact me, or sign up for my Free Report to learn other tools that will help you connect better with your man.