Last week I went out to dinner with a man who was from an out-of-town office of our company. During our meal the topic of personality came up.
Now I had been so proud of my ability to reach out to people, to strike up conversation and be friendly and outgoing.
So you can imagine my surprise when I asked him if he thought I was an extrovert or introvert and he said, without missing a beat, “it’s obvious you’re an introvert.”
“How did you KNOW???” I asked him, “everyone thinks I’m an extrovert.”
“Because,” he said, “when a crowd forms, you take two steps back.”
Wow! I had no idea I did this. I mean, this was at the automatic brain stem level.
And somehow, with that subtle move, he was able to pick up on my whole vibe despite how hard I tried to fake it.
What does this mean for your relationships?
You are constantly putting out vibes about yourself. Vibes about whether you value yourself, vibes about whether you are desperate, vibes about how important a man is to you.
Men subconsciously pick up on those vibes even if you think you can fake it. And they react to your vibes more than to what you say.
You can act uninterested, but they can feel your desperation and yearning. You can pretend you’re confident, but they can feel your insecurity.
But unlike me stepping back because of some automatic, reflex response, the relationship vibes you give off stem from patterns you learned and adopted during your lifetime – patterns that cause you to become nervous or anxious or insecure.
This means that you can shift them in an authentic, real way. You can unlearn your old patterns and replace them with new ones.
You can change your vibe.
It’s not something you can do in your head.
With simple tools, small steps and practice in the field, you can feel your way to being truly confident, secure and magnetic! A woman who is irresistible to the men around her because your whole being will say “I am the best thing that ever happened to you!”
And the results can come faster than you thought possible!
Here’s a simple step I want you to try the next time you are having a conversation with a man.
Notice where your body is in space.
- Are your shoulders up and tense? If so, bring them down and soften them.
- Are you leaning forward? Then slowly lean backwards and try to stay there, even when you are talking.
- Bring your arms down to your sides if they aren’t there already and let them hang with palms facing out.
This change in body language can shift your message to a man from an intense “Please!” to a relaxed “Maybe….”
It will shift your vibe because your brain will think your body is in a relaxed, open state and not a state of excitement, and you will actually adopt that state.
Being relaxed and leaning back will draw him towards you. He’ll feel the space you’ve created and move in to fill it. You’ll be magnetic!
If you want to know more ways to deepen your relationship and bring him closer then contact me by clicking here.